EA unofficially launched E3 last night with their EA Play press conference, and in true EA fashion there were plenty of cringe-worthy moments. The typical boxes were checked, we were shown FIFA and NBA Live 18, and a preview of Madden (which we were told would be shown more during the Microsoft conference). We saw a short demo of Need for Speed Payback, which looks like it might break away from the traditional NFS and other arcade racers enough to be worth a look. A Way Out is a co-op split-screen ONLY game coming from the developers of Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons, and looks interesting, but its appeal will depend on how much gamers want to deal with split-screen. Then we were treated to 30 minutes straight of Battlefront II gameplay. Because a giant publisher like EA doesn’t have anything to show. Or more likely, they are in a contract with Microsoft or Sony to save the good stuff for the other pressers. In all, it was a pretty dull showing. I jotted my candid thoughts as I was watching the presser, and can be seen below.

EA Play

Battlefield 1 night maps

In the name of the tsar – winter eastern front

Nice trailer.. No gameplay?

Yaaay e-sports… Let me guess, Fifa

The more seriously they try to get me to take E-Sports, the more ridiculous it looks to me. I get there are tournaments and competitive gaming and that’s fine. But treated them like celebrities is fucking stupid. I’m not going to idolize some dude for playing video games.

Yep, Fifa already.

What is happening here… Men in Blazers are apparently men in blazers who say stuff. It’s a football show, that people watch. I guess. They’re a football show.

Oh, wait, by football they mean soccer. Nevermind.

EA never fails to talk about FIFA for way too long. Every fucking year.

Oh my god these guys are still talking about something. I have no idea. What. The fuck. Am I watching.

Yay a youtube guy. I think he’s thinking about Doritos. And I also think he wants to crawl under a rock.

I am way too ready for a diverse Need For Speed game. And I’m not talking about the politically correct cast of characters. Finally a NFS game that doesn’t take place in a single city or tiny location. Truck heist footage looks interesting. Very Burnout. I hope they give us the ability to turn off the takedown cam though. Looks fresh, but damn I’m getting tired of the cocky driver personality.

EA Originals

A Way Out looks intriguing. Is it coop on same controller like Brothers?

Hmm.. Split screen couch co-op only.. Interesting.

No offense to creator speaking but this EA presentation appears very unrehearsed, but this guy does seem genuinely excited to be talking about his game.

NO single player.. So no co-op on same controller… No single player will make this game difficult for me. I am interested though.

Madden 18 player models. Look super nice. EA does this every year.

Sneak preview of Anthem. Will see more at MS press.

Straight to NBA Live? Ok…

Zaza didn’t get underneath Lebron? I thought it was supposed to be realistic?

This NBA Live trailer is lasting way too long.

Wait they’re doing the 30-minute gameplay of Battlefront 2 as part of the conference? Can you say filler?

EA Access free this week. Might use it to play Unravel.

Battlefront 2 gameplay.. Oooh stormtroopers. And hot chick in skirt. Why she hasn’t been on the stage all along is beyond me. She’s been practicing her public speaking hand gestures, I see.

Oh yaaay more “community” interviews. Focus testing.

Battle points? How much will it inevitably cost to purchase them from the XBOX/PSN store?

Finally, enough with circle jerk, gameplay footage.

Ok that was gameplay with some fancy camera cuts and footage.

DLC maps will be free. Best news of the conference so far.

They keep repeating themselves. More filler?

I think anyone that puts an I in front of their name should be slapped.

OMFG they are STILL talking about the gameplay we are about to see! Get the fuck on with it.

Do I really have to listen to the commentators? Some people may not know this, but I HAVE FUCKING EYES.

At this point my interest faded after realizing they really were going to show people playing Battlefront II for 30 minutes straight, and with commentators to boot. No thanks, that’s what show floor footage and interview segments are for. Next!