Once again it’s July 4th, and all across America we’ll do what Americans do best, eat terrible food and blow shit up. We like blowing shit up so much, we package up little colorful explosives so that we can blow shit up with the kids. It’s fun for the whole family!
When we’re not blowing up shit, we’re roasting dead animals over a bed of compressed coal and jet fuel, slathering them with homemade beer sauce while they sizzle on a grill coated with last year’s grease.
Yes indeed, Fourth of July is a special day. It’s a day when we are witness to more than our fair share of red, white and blue bikinis, mostly worn by women that look the opposite of this.
It’s a day when all of us come together as neighbors and fellow Americans and argue about whose truck is muddier, and both the rednecks and the hipsters try desperately to turn up their music louder than the other’s, only to both be drowned out by Tejano.
With this being our first July 4th as XPNJunkie, we hope that this will be the start of a tradition, along with many others that we are hoping to introduce. Maybe at some point this website will actually start generating income, and we’ll have a budget. Can you imagine that? Having money to actually put into this thing? We were lucky enough to own the copyrights to this photo of Lacy here, so we can at least have that.
So blow up your little tiny Chinese explosives and blast your 80’s British rock music, annoy the neighbors by revving your Honda, and grill up some fajitas and bratwurst on the habachi. It’s time to celebrate being an American!
