Another Ubisoft event has come and gone, and another instance of Ubisoft using Sam Fisher as the virtual cock-tease to get players to play games they may no longer care about.
This time around, he’s an official operator in Rainbow Six Siege. Previously, he was announced as a team member on some shitty mobile game, and before that, he played a cameo in Ghost Recon Wildlands.
Sam is officially the most whored-out character in Ubisoft’s portfolio. He’s the bar maid that gets passed around by drunken pirates in a busy tavern on a Saturday night. If he was a real-life human being, he’d be frequenting the local comic cons by now. Not the big ones, like San Diego Comic Con. No, he’d be the guy in the corner booth at the Bob’s Comic and Toy Show, next to the child actors and the 80’s cartoon voice-over artists. It’s all Ubi can do to keep reminding us that he exists.
Ubisoft knows fans want a new Splinter Cell game. We know they know. That’s why they keep shoe-horning him into random shit, just so they can wave him in front of us like a fuckin’ birthday party magician and say “Eh? EH? Sam Fisher, am I right?”
They genuinely expect the kiddies to cheer and say “Yaaaaay! Sam Fisher!”
Well I might be wearing the little cone party hat, but I’m not buying it. Your birthday party is lame, Ubisoft. Stop blowing smoke up our ass and give us what we’ve been asking for an entire gaming generation.
In a way, Ubisoft kinda painted themselves into a corner with Sam. He’s old. He has always been old. He was already in, what, his late 50’s at the beginning of the first Splinter Cell? I don’t know if there’s an actual age or timeline specified, but I’m pretty sure they mention it at the beginning of the game.
With every sequel, of which there are five, he presumably gets older, and in the Ghost Recon Wildlands storyline he looks downright fucking ancient, so I’m not sure what they could possibly do going forward.
That said, Splinter Cell is primed for a reboot. Or hell, Sam had a long and successful career in the CIA before he ever joined Third Echelon. There is plenty of room for a young Sam Fisher, especially one that’s in the service during the Cold War, Desert Storm, Mogadishu, etc. There is a whole timeline worth of shit they could tap into (and oooooh low-tech!)
Even a full-on reboot of the original Splinter Cell would even be welcome. That game aged alright graphically but the controls are horribly dated.
But I think I’m giving Ubisoft too much credit. They’re more likely to shove him into the next Let’s Dance than they are to actually give him a proper game. C’mon Ubisoft. Prove me wrong.
