Like a marshmallow that sat in the fire for a little too long, I’m taking the Cookout Edition off the stick and tossing it off behind the tree, so that the ants will be pre-occupied with that and not crawl into my tent at night.
Okay, so that analogy didn’t really work, but still, it’s not stopping me from putting an end to the madness.
I just can’t do it. I didn’t really think it was in me in the first place, especially after what I experienced during last year’s Backlog Bingo, but now I’m sure of it. I do not like doing backlog boards. I do not like giving myself a set list of games I need to finish. I don’t want to be limited to those options, not when I have so, so many other games I’d rather tackle instead. It’s like looking in your pantry and complaining that there’s nothing to eat, even though there are five boxes of hamburger helper and a case of ramen staring you in the face. It’s not that you don’t have any food, it’s that you don’t have any food you want to eat at the moment. It’s how I feel with the Backlog Cookout, and how I felt with the bingo board last year. The main difference between this year and last, was that last year I populated my board with easily digestible games that I was pretty sure I’d enjoy. That didn’t always happen, but for the most part it didn’t take me that long to get through the games on the list.
This year I populated the board with too many long games. Even some of the games I thought would be on the shorter end still contained a fair amount of play time. Some of them were longer than I expected, and some of them were just flat-out unenjoyable.
So it’s dead. I’m killing it right now. But that doesn’t mean that Backlog Barbecue is going away. On the contrary, I still have many games I’m working on wrapping up, and fully intend to do write-ups on. I’m just done with painting myself into a corner. A lot of times I feel like I am forcing myself to play some games, even though I don’t want to, and that’s just not enjoyable. Video games are supposed to be enjoyable.
So here we go, this will be a long list, but I did want to touch on the games that were left dangling on the board, to give a bit of an update on them and let you know if you should expect a write-up on them any time soon.
Hand of Fate
Hand of Fate is a cool game, I just don’t have the patience for it. The Game Master, or Card Dealer, or whatever you want to call him, just takes too damn long with his flipping of cards and shuffling and all that. I always felt like I was sitting through a card trick every time I played the game, and I just wanted to hit things.
There’s really nothing I can say about Hand of Fate, and perhaps that’s its biggest drawback. There’s just nothing remarkable about it. You hop into an arena and fight some stuff every once in a while, he draws some cards, says some stuff, and then you go back and fight more stuff. You’ll get a card with a new helmet, and you just equip the helmet. There’s very little thought into the actual game itself, at least up to the point that I played. Which honestly, wasn’t very far. I just never felt like playing the game.
Status: Dead
Valiant Hearts
I didn’t know Valiant Hearts was the kind of game that it is when I first booted it up. I didn’t know it was a puzzle platformer, and I really didn’t know you were going to have to switch between different characters in order to pass certain obstacles.
I’m also not really a big fan of the overall art style. It’s very good and solid, but for whatever reason I just cannot get into it.
I’ve also heard that Valiant Hearts gets very emotional at the end. I don’t know why, but I always get the gut feeling that the dog is going to die, and that just kills my buzz for playing that game. I’ll kill dozens of Nazis, but if my dog is hurt or killed, I will riot.
Status: In Progress
Deadfall Adventures
I actually wanted to give this game a chance. I liked the premise, and I’ve never been one to fault a game for having a low budget, but this game just isn’t very good. It’s passable as a straight-up shooter, but linking your leveling up system to finding “secrets” was a fucking awful decision. What if I don’t want to find secrets? What if I just want to play your game and shoot stuff? I’m actively being punished for not searching every square inch of your game.
I guess I should also mention the first boss encounter I had with a mummy that seemingly took no damage. They said to use my flashlight, so I did. I turned on the flashlight and pointed it at the enemy, which slowed him down. ‘Okay,’ I thought. So I shot him. I shot him many, many, many times. I continued shooting him. Then I ran to the other side of the room, and shot at him some more. It looked like I was damaging him, so I continued to shoot him. I shot him for ten fucking minutes before I said ‘screw it’ and googled just what the hell I was supposed to do. Apparently I needed to “focus” the flashlight on him by using a button to shine it on him until it hurt him somehow, which made him vulnerable to attack. Think Alan Wake, only not nearly as obvious. Once I did that, he was down in a minute or two. After that, I was kinda done with the game.
Status: Dead, unless I get really, really bored.
Giana Sisters: Twisted Dreams
Man this game has a cool premise. Switching between two alternate realities on the fly and watching everything change instantly as you jump from platform to platform and reality to reality seems like a blast. Too bad the level design is extremely boring. Maybe the game gets better later on, but honestly I will never know because I was unable to get past the first chapter. I believe I made it to the fourth or fifth stage in the opening chapter because I would literally start falling asleep halfway through a stage. It wasn’t for lack of trying, either. I’ve booted the game up multiple times and it’s always the same result. There’s no sense of urgency or danger; You can take as long as you need to find all the gems you can. If you die, no worries, you’ll just re-spawn at the last checkpoint you passed.
I’m all for light difficulty settings and forgiving games, but there also has to be a sense of excitement as well. The game itself is just.. dull. If the game really does get more awesome later on, then they failed to deliver the hook that keeps me invested so that I get there.
Status: Dead
Thief
I really like the premise of Thief. I like the gameplay and the sneaky-sneaky aspect of it. I just wish the setting appealed to me more. It’s not that it’s bad, but more in a sense that they limited themselves to a bunch of dark alleyways and dimly lit houses. That’s disappointing, especially now that we have games like Dishonored that took the Thief formula and bumped it to the next level.
I haven’t counted Thief out yet, though. Perhaps one weekend I’ll get a wild hair and decide to just sit down and grind it out. This could very well be popping up on a Backlog Barbecue sometime in the near future.
Status: On hold
Shadow Warrior
Shadow Warrior is pretty fun. I’m not very far into it, but I’ve enjoyed what I played so far. It has a very Serious Sam vibe to it, which isn’t a bad thing. It was obviously created on a budget, as the graphics are a bit simple, but still look good.
I’m currently stumped on a stage where it says I need to find something, and I’ve already killed everything in the area and now I’m just running around in circles looking for this one object so that I can proceed in the level. I haven’t found anything that looks even remotely important except for one object, but I haven’t figured out how to interact with it or even if I can.
I hope something like this doesn’t kill my interest in the game. I’ll look up the solution online and see if I’m not just missing something or forgetting a certain button combination or action. Definitely not counting this game out, it just might be a little while before I have the time and energy to devote to such a frantic shooter.
Status: In progress
Streets of Rage
Until I get a co-op buddie to play this through with me, I’m done trying. As with almost all the action brawlers back in the day, Streets of Rage is incredibly cheap in its pattern and hit detection, and the two or three lives you get as a minimum gets used up quickly and often.
The problem lies in the fact that you only get so many continues. It’s old school in every sense. And that’s okay, but not when I’m just trying to get through the games so I can move on. This is a co-op beat-’em-up so hopefully I can get a buddy to help me out so I can get this done.
Status: On hold until I can team up.
Resident Evil Revelations
I’m still very much working on RE Rev, but having already played through most of it on the Wii U, it keeps getting pushed back in favor of other newer titles. It’s not a terribly long game so I shouldn’t have much trouble getting through it if I ever have a weekend to kill.
The game is smooth as butter and the graphics hold up fairly well in HD, considering it’s a port of a port. The only thing that hurts it is that it can’t decide if it wants to be survival horror or a shooter. While Capcom was backtracking from the action-y approach of the mainline series, this one still retains some of those characteristics. RE Rev 2 fixed a lot of that, thankfully.
Status: In progress
ReCore
Recore had a tough break. The game isn’t terrible, but it released with a few issues and seemed to cut corebots and areas seen in previews, leading people to believe that Microsoft had released half a game. It didn’t help that it released at half a normal game’s price. It affected the public perception, and the frame rate and long load times didn’t help it either.
Luckily, they kept working on it and released the free Definitive Edition update, which improved load times, and added the missing areas and corebots. I’ve played about three-fourths of the way through it before hitting a wall. I then heard about the aforementioned Definitive Edition and decided to wait. Then I decided to wait until I got an Xbox One X to take full advantage of it. Since then I’ve been playing it little by little, but other games have just taken the spotlight.
Status: In progress
Ghost Recon Future Soldier
It’s hard to believe that there’s a Ghost Recon game out there I haven’t beaten yet. I’ve owned it for a long time, but it came toward the end of the 360 era, so it kinda fell through the cracks. A few months ago it became backward compatible on XBO and I’ve been meaning to finish it off. The reason I haven’t done it yet is actually a pretty stupid one; It’s a physical disc and I’m usually too lazy to get up and dig it out of the game case to put it in the system.
It really is that simple.
Status: In progress if I can get my fat ass out of my chair
Earthlock
Earthlock used to have a subtitle called Festival of Magic, but apparently they re-released the game after making a whole host of changes and fixes, even going as far as to change the story itself. Because of all this, I started over. For the life of me, I can’t tell you what the changes were. The game feels exactly the same, and I couldn’t really tell you the differences in the story yet.
Earthlock is fun enough, as turn-based RPG’s go, but perhaps the game’s biggest fault is the crazy hard difficulty spikes. The game will progress at a moderate difficulty, only to slap you in the face with a balls hard boss battle. I’m almost back to the point that I left off the first time, and I’m hoping they tweaked the upcoming boss fight to not be so unforgiving. If it is, I’m out for good.
Status: In progress… for now
Conker: Live and Reloaded
Damn this game is an OG Xbox game and it looks gorgeous on Xbox One X. Go figure.
I’d never played the Xbox version, but when it was announced as backward compatible, I decided to give it a download. The physical version was still going for about $40 at vintage game stores, but the digital download was only ten bucks.
The game seems to be more streamlined than the N64 copy I used to own, and that’s probably a good thing. That doesn’t mean the controls have aged well, though. The game still plays wonky, at least in the opening areas. I remember the game play changing in later chapters so hopefully it gets better. I just got through the first area with the barn, bees, and sunflower with the giant breasts you can jump on. I’m a bit lost after that. Apparently I was more receptive back in the day and could more easily find my way around than I can now.
Status: In progress
Zombi
I beat this game on the Wii U, with its infuriating ending, so the game is not really all that high on the priority list. After I realized what changes were made to the Xbox version, since it lacks a second screen, I was a little bummed. It really was tailor-made for the Wii U.
I would still like to play through this one. It seems like a good game to stream. You know, if I ever had an actual audience. Until then though I think I’m going to put it back on the pile. There will be a time and place for this, but it’s not now.
Status: On hold
Rayman 3 HD
I owned Rayman 3 once upon a time. It was way back on Gamecube, and it was coming in on the heels of the excellent Rayman 2 The Great Escape on Dreamcast. I remember playing this game about halfway through.
But here’s where my memory gets fuzzy. I do remember Rayman 3 having a subtitle called Hoodlum Havoc, and I remember there being a lot more of the disco acid trip mini-games, which were fucking awful back then and they’re fucking awful now. But at least it seems like I don’t have to do them as often. I also remember there being a tree, or tower, that was the place where all the (I forget what they’re called) gather after you free them. I guess they cut out all the filler and just made it a linear game. I guess it’s better? I don’t remember, honestly, and the newer HD version isn’t that great, to be honest. It’s a passable platformer, but it gets kind of dull after a while. I prefer the metroid-vania style of the old Rayman 2.
Status: On hold
Mad Max
This game is crammed full of stuff to do. Okay, let me re-phrase that. This game is crammed full of stuff you don’t really want to do. Mad Max takes a fun idea and makes you do it over, and over, and over. I’ve tried multiple times to get into this game, but it’s just not that interesting. Much like in the movies, the landscape will never be anything more than endless desert. While that might make for a great way to keep a movie budget low, it makes for a bit of a dull game environment.
I’m going to cut it some slack though, because what I have played is fun, it just hasn’t been interesting enough to win out over other games. It’s been a long time since I’ve started it, and I’m starting to get the sinking feeling that I may have to start over just so that I know what I’m supposed to do.
Status: On hold
Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days
I’ve never even played a Kane and Lynch game. I don’t even know why it’s on here. I don’t even know what kind of game it is. I don’t even think I currently have it installed on my Xbox.
Apparently I put it on here as a “Eh, why not,” game, but honestly I have very little interest. Maybe all I have to do is boot it up one day and give it a shot, and maybe I’ll be hooked, but if it was that great of a game, surely we’d have seen a Kane and Lynch 3 or 4 by now. So my hopes aren’t really that high. Plus both of those characters look like sleazeballs and that doesn’t really appeal to me. It’s hard to play as bad people, unless it’s really over the top like Saints Row.
Status: I’ll play a little and see if it interests me. If not, it’s dead.
Dragon Age Origins
I’m still cranking away at Dragon’s Age Origins. The problem here, is that I’m not really invested in the game. I have a ton of play time put into it, but I’m kind of on a bee-line through the story and not really worrying myself much with the side quests, and I probably should be. The game will probably start getting pretty tough if I’m not leveled up properly, even if I am playing it on Easy.
One thing I am surprised by, and I guess I shouldn’t be, is the length of the game. I thought I was making some serious headway, but the three branching paths to get help have been taking me a really, really long time to get through. I’m starting to think that what I thought was one quest in the story is actually the story. I guess we’ll see, because I’m still working on it.
Status: In progress
Tomb Raider Underworld
It still bothers me that the predecessor, Tomb Raider Legends, still isn’t backward compatible, but in the meantime I still intend to beat Underworld.
It’s a weird thing to admit, but I’ve never beat a classic Tomb Raider game. I always get bored about halfway through, as the tombs and puzzles get bigger and longer. I just tire of pulling levers and climbing on ledges.
With streaming and Let’s Plays though, there’s a bit more motivation to play through Underworld, and maybe this time I’ll actually get it done. I will say though that the blurriness in this game is distracting as hell. I guess it was a technique they used back on the 360 to mask the aliasing, but I would’ve loved this game to have gotten the Enhanced treatment to smooth out the framerate and get rid of that bloom lighting.
Status: In progress
DOOM
I am at an impasse with Doom. I was doing really well in this game, it was clicking with me, and then I put it down.
Now, trying to go back to the game late, late in the story is proving to be a bit of a challenge. This game requires a rhythm, a mindset, and I am no longer in the groove. My current game save is right before a major fight in which the game throws practically everything it has at you. I’ve tried a few times to get past it, so that I may traverse a more traditional area and get a feel for it again, and I just can’t seem to do it. I’m getting my ass kicked.
I’m being faced with a decision. Do I start over, on an easier difficulty, just so that I can make it back to where I am quicker, and experience the rest of the story, or do I persevere, probably dying many times, just to get back to the mindset I was before? The thought of starting over just kind of makes me want to throw a temper tantrum, but grinding through a frustrating situation doesn’t sound like a ton of fun either. We’ll see what happens I guess.
Status: On hold until I decide what to do
The Evil Within 2
This game is quickly becoming the king of my pile of shame. It’s been the better part of a year since I bought this game, and I am still sneaking around the beginning of the game. Every review and podcast I’ve heard about it talks about how long the game is, and I sit and think about how long it’s taken me to just get to where I am, and again I want to throw a temper tantrum. I want to love this game, but it’s a challenging game. This is one of those times I just wish I had an unlimited ammo cheat code, because I think this game would be a shit ton of fun if you didn’t have to worry about, you know, dying.
As it stands, it’s a game that I just need to sit down and play. I mean, really play, not just fiddle around with for an hour. Perhaps once I get past the point where Castellanos is practically useless it will get more fun, but damn this dude is weak as hell to start.
Status: In progress
Mass Effect Andromeda
Playing ME Andromeda is a mixed bag. Yeah, the technical issues the game had at launch is a dead horse and I won’t beat it, but what I will mention is the fact that the story and characters so far are fucking awful. Seriously, PeeBee doesn’t even remotely act like an Asari, and if they don’t address this in the game I’ll be pissed. The shootouts and action missions are great, but the side quests and the Nexus are dreadfully boring.
My current point in the game is having just completed the first planet and have just been tasked with returning to the Nexus to report on my findings and do other shit. Basically, I need to run back and forth and talk to people. It’s the same dull shit that they started the game with, that took me forever to get past because I kept falling asleep. My interest level plummeted back down to zero after what had been a fairly enjoyable planet mission. I’ll grind my way through it and hopefully the game will open up to the point I don’t have to fuck with that boring ass space station again. At least the original ME trilogy only required me to visit the Citadel occasionally.
Status: In progress
The Witcher 3: Blood and Wine
The reason I haven’t played the Blood and Wine expansion yet is because I know that once I do, I won’t be playing anything else until I finish it. It will also be bittersweet because I will then have nothing left to look forward to.
I really do need to get back into it though. That game is just so, so good. I’ll be honest, while everyone is going gaga over CyberPunk 2077, I would’ve just been happy with another Witcher game. I get it, CDPR feels they’ve done all they can do with Geralt, and that’s fair, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to say goodbye to him any time soon. Besides, they could make an entire spinoff with Ciri and I wouldn’t mind a bit.
Status: On hold
Woo, man. I can’t believe I sat and typed all that. It feels good though, because now I can say goodbye to that tight space I shoe-horned myself into. It also means I can use my pins for something else, other than as a checklist and sad reminder of games I needed to play. It also means I can focus on some other features I’ve been toying around with, including highlighting new Game Pass games on Xbox and getting into PS Now.
Until then, I’ll be enjoying my new, un-tethered freedom.
