<Spoiler Warning>

Yes, he plays his PS4. Occasionally.

I finally completed the story for Spider-Man on PS4 and watched the (very cool) credits roll. In the end, I was very happy with the game, but man, did it take its sweet ass time getting there. The story in Spider-Man is a slow burn, and while I can appreciate the fact that Insomniac took time to develop Peter Parker’s personality, his relationship with MJ, and quite a lengthy Miles Morales origin side-story, I couldn’t help but feel like the majority of the game was spent doing menial tasks and chasing after a villain that didn’t really resonate with me.

I’ve been a Spidey fan since I was a kid. Aside from TMNT, his comic was the first one I ever collected. But my knowledge of Spider-Man’s universe is limited to what I grew up with; i.e. “the original.” Spectacular Spider-Man was my comic of choice, but I occasionally picked up an issue Amazing or Web Of, and my brother collected the “new” Spider-Man comic that launched with Todd McFarlane at the wheel. I hit up Spider-Man 2099 for a while, but it never really stuck, and then I fell off for a bit after the whole clone “Ben Reilly” debacle. Then came re-launch after re-launch, alternate Spidey-verses, yadda yadda. When it became apparent that Marvel had no frickin’ clue what to do with the character, I was done.

That is where my knowledge ends, aside from the “Ultimate” series, which was supposed to be the reboot to end all reboots (yeah, right). I followed that one for a while, then picked up the issue with Peter’s death, which was not only unacceptable, but downright insulting to lifelong Spidey fans. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Miles Morales, but the way in which Peter died was laughable. A gunshot wound? Really? As I said, I grew up with Spider-Man, and I’ve seen him have buildings dropped on him, poisoned, grow extra arms, buried alive, have the ever-loving shit beat out of him, etc. etc. etc., and you mean to tell me that one person shoots him in the side, and that’s it? Granted, he was fighting with Green Goblin the whole time, but I’m sorry, that’s just lame. Apparently I wasn’t the only one that thought so, because through the power of the multi-verse, Peter Parker is alive and well again, because Marvel with always have that “out” when they fuck up.

But I digress (it’s a sensitive subject for me). Needless to say, I’m not really that familiar with today’s Spidey. It’s with this in mind that I really did enjoy which stage of Peter’s life Insomniac chose to focus on. I like that we have an experienced Peter Parker. He’s been doing it for a little while, and finding backpacks throughout the city in which he has a memento stored paints a decent backstory for things that have already happened. They do paint a weird timeline though; for example, he’s very familiar with Electro, Rhino, Fisk, etc., but the Green Goblin and Dr. Octopus still have yet to appear. The Lizard is obviously a character that exists, though he is only represented as a Halloween costume, yet Otto is Peter’s mentor instead of Kurt Connor. I’m not sure if Insomniac is pulling from a specific Spidey comic or putting their own spin on it, but for the most part, it works.

What didn’t work for me, though, was the choice of Martin Li, a.k.a. Mister Negative, as a main antagonist in the story. I was admittedly unfamiliar with this character. I had to look him up, after which I learned that he made his first appearance as a cameo in 2007. It would make sense I was unfamiliar with him, he popped up during my Spidey boycott. This character had no weight for me. His motive for revenge was… alright, but he did seem very one-dimensional. Once he became Mister Negative, it was all rage, all the time. The only time we saw the other side of him was for a few seconds toward the beginning of the game. That was it.

I do believe it was intentional, since much more attention was paid to the slow burn that was Otto Octavius, and the long, “will he or won’t he” Norman Osborn arc. That was fine, but I do think they spent too much time on Mister Negative, mainly because I didn’t really care. The best twist of the game came when I was roughly 70% through, when there’s a massive prison break on The Raft and many of the classic Spidey villains escape. It was bittersweet, because here I was, slinging through the air fighting both Electro and the Vulture at the same time, and I was grinning ear to ear, it was fucking awesome. But at the same time I was asking myself, “Why did they wait so late in the game to give me this?” Fighting the Rhino and the Scorpion gave the me same fanboy giggles, as well as the climactic tussle with Octavius on the side of the Oscorp tower. Again, it was so frickin’ cool!

But when I compare those last final missions to the hours upon hours of game time I put in before reaching that point, I can’t help but feel like they made an incredible 4-hour game, then padded it with an extra 20 hours worth of “meh.”

Don’t misunderstand, the game is fun. Though there are some weird “game-ifications” that have to happen in order for it to be challenging. In other words, Spider-Man can pick up and toss a car, yet some street thug is gonna block his punch with a crowbar? Seriously? And Spidey can withstand a crushing blow from the Rhino, yet some random brute is gonna punch him and take off almost a third of his health bar? What?

It took me a while to get a grasp of the combat system, and honestly, I think they start him out a bit too under-powered. This is an experienced Spidey we’re playing as, but his early goings in the game are rough. It wasn’t until I did some leveling up and started unlocking gear upgrades and extra perks that he really started coming into his own. The game can be pretty unforgiving at the start, especially for someone like me who isn’t the greatest at combo-driven systems. It made it hard to enjoy the game in the early going; I died a lot.

Insomniac gave MJ and Miles Morales some screen time as well, essentially setting up Miles’s origin story and giving MJ a career arc. This is where I have a little bit of a beef with the game. I get that it’s the hip trendy new thing in society now to have “normal” women, but do they have to water down everyone? Are women no longer allowed to be sexy? While I have no problems whatsoever with MJ’s headstrong attitude and independence (i.e. not wanting to always be saved by Peter), they made her an every-girl, and that’s a bummer. Mary Jane Watson was always a bombshell. It was actually a running gag by Lee for the first several issues of The Amazing Spider-Man that May was trying to introduce him to her, and Peter kept missing her or brushing it off thinking she was, well, fugly. Much to his surprise, not only was she was a hottie, but she was the hottiest of hotties. And she was always headstrong and independent, that’s why it took so long for them to hook up.

But they had to do it, they made MJ an attractive, albeit “normal” girl. Today’s Peter didn’t hit the jackpot, he got $20 on a scratch-off. Still, he fared better than MCU Spidey, who got a Zendaya-knockoff that’s probably the equivalent of just winning your two dollars back.

I really liked Miles’s story-line. It wasn’t too forced, and the only reason I didn’t really care for his segments were because I didn’t really like the stealth element. Neither his sequences, nor MJ’s were all that challenging, and they almost seemed scripted. I only failed once or twice, and it was mainly because I got impatient and tried to rush it. If you take your time, the items and layout are very deliberate, almost as if the game is telling you “hey you need to active this item to get past this guy.” The only thing I was grateful of was that they were relatively short.

Oh- I did enjoy the segment when Miles is sneaking past the Rhino. That part was unique. Let’s face it, how many times do we get to see the Rhino from the perspective of a totally helpless person? It was unsettling, and if they would’ve ramped up the danger a little bit more, could’ve been downright terrifying.

In all, I loved the game. Well, 30% of the game. I have to say, aside from some satisfying combat and a gorgeous city, the majority of the game was very average. Luckily, Insomniac ramped up the chaos and the stakes and left us with a very satisfying conclusion, leaving plenty of room for a sequel. I guess, if I have to, I can be grateful they stuck with a few obscure enemies (Screwball, Taskmaster, etc.) instead of throwing the kitchen sink at us and lessening the impact. Still, I can’t help but wonder if the closing acts of the game were really that awesome, or if I was just that bored with everything else up to that point.

Takeaways:

– Boy, that spider hitchhiked on MJ for a long time.

– Peter having to choose between letting Aunt May die or dooming the rest of the city was a fuckin’ gut-punch. Thanks Insomniac. Assholes.

– The after-credits scene with Norman Osborn revealing Harry in his lab seemed for sure like a Green Goblin reveal, but what we saw looked way more akin to… Venom?